When You Don’t Know What’s Wrong

Sometimes people come to counselling because something specific has happened – a breakup, a loss, a crisis that’s turned everything upside down. But just as often, it’s not about one clear event. It’s a vague feeling that something’s off. A sense of heaviness, or flatness, or being stuck in a life that doesn’t quite feel like yours anymore.

Maybe you’ve said to yourself, “I don’t even know what I’d talk about” or “Other people have it worse” or “It’s not a real problem.” You’re not alone with these thoughts. And in my experience, it’s often here where the most meaningful work begins.

Not knowing what’s wrong doesn’t mean nothing is wrong. It just means you’ve been carrying something, maybe for a long time. Sometimes life builds up like that – small moments of disappointment, of feeling unseen, of coping in silence – until it becomes hard to feel much at all.

Counselling doesn’t need you to come in with a clear story or diagnosis. It’s okay to come in with a sigh. Or a blank. Or a sense that you’re tired of feeling the way you’ve been feeling.

What I offer is a space where we can sit with that not-knowing, without needing to force clarity too quickly. Often, something begins to take shape when it’s simply allowed to exist. You start to hear yourself differently. You notice patterns. You feel the edges of something that’s been buried.

There’s no rush. You don’t need to perform or impress. You don’t even need to be able to explain yourself straight away. Just showing up is a big deal. It says, something matters here, even if I can’t name it yet.

And that – honestly – is more than enough to begin.