Not Knowing Where to Start Is a Great Place to Begin
Not knowing where to start in therapy isn’t a problem - it’s often the beginning of something important.
There’s a moment that often happens in therapy. Someone says something they’ve never said before – maybe not even to themselves – and then they pause. Sometimes they look away. Sometimes they laugh nervously. Sometimes they just sit in the silence that follows.
And then they say, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”
We all carry things we don’t talk about. Thoughts that feel strange, feelings that don’t make sense, memories that sit in the background quietly shaping us. Some of them feel too messy or too ugly or too much. Others feel too soft, too painful, too easily dismissed.
So we keep them tucked away. We manage. We put on the face that works for the world and save the rest for later – but later doesn’t always come.
One of the quiet strengths of therapy is that it gives those unspoken parts a voice. Not everything needs to be said straight away. You can take your time. But when something you’ve held in finally lands in the room – and it’s received with care, not shock or judgement – something shifts. Not because it gets fixed, but because it no longer has to be carried alone.
It might feel like a relief. It might feel terrifying. It might feel both at once. That’s okay. Therapy isn’t about always saying the right thing – it’s about making space for the truth, however it shows up.
And often, the truths that feel hardest to say are the ones that matter most. The ones that start to loosen the knots inside. The ones that open doors you didn’t know were there.
You don’t have to know what to say before you begin. You don’t even have to be sure you can say it. But it’s possible. And when it happens, it can be the start of something important.
Not knowing where to start in therapy isn’t a problem - it’s often the beginning of something important.
I’ve launched a new service called MEN TALK TOO - a space for men to explore their mental health, find support and begin conversations that are often left unsaid.
John Creigan Counselling
18a Clermont Road, Brighton, BN1 6SG
TEL: 07410 040348